It finally feels like spring in my city, which is giving me some much-needed energy. April is going to be a busy month! It is also the month of my birthday, which has become something I look forward to less every year. I’m still relatively young, but I let the pressure of not being successful (or even stable!) yet bother me a lot. Actually, that was the big theme of the past month for me: pressure.
I entered March poor but with a lot of creative momentum. I felt more confident in myself than I probably have ever been before: I received my first poetry acceptance letters, my band was doing well, and I had shows lined up as both a poet and a singer. These shows went great, but I’ve noticed a drop in my confidence over the past couple weeks. At first I thought that it was depression, then maybe jealousy of more talented performers. But now I think that I’m frustrated because I’m starting to “level up” from newbie to amateur. It is no longer a big deal if I’m good at something; I need to work harder and perform more. I hurt my voice by singing too much, which definitely made my self-esteem worse. I am currently giving myself a vocal rest while my band and I work on original songs and submitting ourselves to music festivals.
April will definitely NOT be a time for a writing break. I plan on completing a creative nonfiction essay during Camp Nanowrimo that I want to try to sell. I also plan on designing a chapbook for a series of themed poems that I began writing a couple weeks ago.
March turned out to be a big reading month for me: I finished 11 books! I’m only 6 books away from hitting my reading goal for the entire year! I plan on posting a review of one of my most recent reads, Han Yujoo’s The Impossible Fairy Tale, within the next few days on this blog. Funny enough, even though all of my reviews this month have been movie or television-related, I didn’t watch much. I’ve been enjoying Space Sentai Kyuranger way more than expected and I am bracing for this Sunday’s series finale of Iron-Blooded Orphans, but that’s about it. I did begin to watch Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team and may also write a review on it in April.
Now onto my financial woes, which are steadily improving. I did not meet my goals of selling any writings or commissions, but I did get a second job. I also have an upcoming interview in April that may totally change both my luck and my plans for the year – but I’m trying not to think too much about it or I’ll freak out.
My April goals are simple-ish, with an emphasis on the “ish”:
- Earn enough money to cover all of my bills
- Increase blog/online writing: book/show reviews, life shit, etc.
- Meet creative writing goals: Camp Nanowrimo and chapbook
- Work on music and poetry exposure in my local scene
- CALM THE HELL DOWN AND STOP BEING SO HARD ON MYSELF
…that last one is going to be the hardest.
- Current drink: strawberry milkshake
- Current book: Princess Knight, Part 1 by Osamu Tezuka
- Current audio book: Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut
- Current music: MAITRO – Dragonball Wave (Full Album)